Whenever you are entering in a new relationship, it is important to lay down a foundation to protect you and your partner. Since there will be times in which you will be blurring the lines between fantasy and reality, it is important to have some way you can know it is time to stop in case there is a problem. This is exactly what a safe word is.
Take into consideration you may be engaged in a scenario in which you are punishing your sub and your sub is begging for you to stop. This is all part of the game. But, what happens whenever you are causing more pain than your sub can handle? If you have a safe word, you can clearly distinguish it from the regular words telling you to stop.
Picking a Word Which Works
The best words are going to have nothing to do with stopping or pain. You can pick a piece of fruit or a building or a shape. The word itself does not matter as much as you and your partner agree what the word will be. Make sure to have a discussion about it before you start any kind of fun. This way, you will know when to stop if there is a problem.
You may want to run through a scenario a few times to test out the safe word you have chosen. After all, when you are in the heat of the moment, you might not understand or register what your partner is saying. If you run through the scenario a few times, you will understand it is time to stop and check in to see what is going on. Make it trigger an automatic response in your mind by running through a scenario a few times like a drill.
Never Abuse the Safe Word
The safe word should only be used if there is actually a problem. If either of you starts to use the word just to be silly, you will have a situation like the boy who cried wolf. The safety word will lose its meaning and you could have some real trouble on your hands. Make sure you both understand the importance of the keyword and how it is never to be joked around.
As long as you are both in agreement with what the safe word is and you have practiced it, you should be ready to go to have some fun together. Just make sure you are paying attention whenever you are trying something new or you are fully engaged in your passion. This is when you can easily lose yourself and not hear the safety word.
An additional thing to think about is if gagging is involved, speaking may not be an option. You can work out a hand sign or some form of tapping in a rhythm to let you know there is a problem. It is all about communication to make sure you are having fun and avoiding trouble.