To start out with some beginner tips, a masochist is a person who enjoys receiving pain. A masochist is well matched to a sadist, someone who enjoys giving pain. This doesn’t mean we’re talking about serial killers – a sadist and masochist kinks are just as normal and natural as any other type of kink. Some people just get off on pain. This can include everything from being caned, beaten, slapped, kicked, bitten, and any other type of impact play that you can imagine. Masochists are often fond of the marks left behind afterwards, and will photograph the outcome of their play. However, pleasing a masochist is not as simple as just beating them. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite, since pain is a kink that requires a good deal of planning and understanding.
Limits and Safewords
Due to the fact that the nature of a masochist’s kink is to experience pain, it’s very important to understand any masochistic woman’s limits. For example, once you play with someone a few times, you’ll have a better idea when she’s reaching her threshold. It helps to start small. Use an implement like a flogger made of light, synthetic material, that’s designed to sting than to inflict serious pain. Set up a safeword, as in all BDSM play, and work up to your masochist’s limits. She’ll let you know when she’s had enough, but as the one in control of inflicting pain, you also have to watch for warning signs.
Subspace is the physical reaction to bondage stimulation. What basically happens is that the bottom in a scene goes into a state where they disconnect from reality. They become so involved in what’s going on, both physically and psychologically, that they lose track of their limits or pain threshold, and bob along in blissful incoherence. Subspace can be a very pleasant experience, but if you’re not watchful while topping, you can hurt someone. Once a bottom – in this case, a masochist – goes into subspace, they don’t come back, and it will only intensify. While this can be a good place to be, you don’t want to push them further, especially in a masochist’s case, because they no longer have any comprehension of pain.
Aftercare is bringing a bottom back from an intense scene. Most scenes with a masochist tend to be intense due to the fact that it involves pain, and some masochists can also take a good a quantity of it. They get off on it, and when paired with a sadist, for example, things can get crazy. You may see an intense beating scene, or someone being kicked and beaten with a baton – as long as it’s consensual, you can be rest assured that both parties are enjoying it. However, once a masochist comes back from the blissful world of subspace and enjoyment, she’s going to need some assistance. Aftercare is the act of comforting someone who comes down from the high of either subspace, or simply the intense psychological impact, a play is bound to have. You’ll most likely have to offer affection, reassurance, and a source of sugar, like candy.