Due to the fact that the BDSM scene is a subculture that deals with sexuality and kinks, it attracts a multitude of different type of people that frequently have a vast array of gender identity, sexualities, and relationship statuses. If you’re a man who’s looking for a female to top, this means that you are looking for a woman who is interested in bottoming. There’s a difference between bottoming and topping, versus Dominant and submissive. One is a dynamic, and the other is a specific type of terminology. While some people prefer to bottom all the time – for example, be on the receiving end of stimulation, like tickling – many participants in the scene are switches. It all depends on the person, but one essential part of understand who you’re playing with and what you both are looking for, is to be fully aware of their gender identity beforehand. It makes a huge difference in how you approach play.
Cisgendered and Heterosexual
This is probably where you fall. A cisgendered person is someone who is comfortable with the gender identity they were assigned at birth by sex. In other words, if you were born a man, with a penis, as a cisgendered person, you are perfectly comfortable and happy identifying with the gender of male. Additionally, heterosexual is pretty standard: like women. Though, the BDSM scene has terms for every spectrum of sexuality, right up to the point where you refer to yourself as being “heteroflexible.” This generally means, while you prefer to engage in sexual and kinky play with women, you might be willing to deal with another man in a scene for group play. It depends on how you define yourself, but for the purpose of who you are primarily, you are a cisgendered, het guy. You will most likely attract a particular audience, and the narrower your view of sexuality, the more likely it is you’ll end up playing with a cisgendered, het woman who shares the same preferences.
What all of this amounts to is you have to check for pronouns beforehand, especially if you’re in a queer-friendly environment. Some parties cater specifically to heterosexuals who identify as cisgendered, but the BDSM scene tends to lean toward being inclusive of all sexualities and gender identities. Never assume anything.