You know what the point of bondage play is, but have you considered what to do after you’re done? Even if both of you know that the actions you’re using and the things you’re choosing to say to your sub aren’t an indicator of harsh feelings or a desire to truly hurt them, they are perceived as such. For that reason, aftercare is necessary to bring the two of you back together in a romantic sense. It also provides a great time for you to express what you enjoyed about the encounter, what you didn’t like and any ideas you might have to improve the next experience. Making sure you don’t skimp on the aftercare portion of your BDSM play as it is one of the best tip we can give to beginners. You need to make sure that you’re taking care of your sub physically, mentally and emotionally during this crucial time.
This is as simple as it sounds. Take care of your sub after an encounter by making sure you’re easing any aches and pains and spending lots of time cuddling and touching her gently. If you spanked her, especially with a crop or flogger, it’s possible she’ll need ointments for the bruised skin or maybe even some ice. If you had her tied up in a possibly uncomfortable position, offer to massage her arms, legs, or her shoulders. Touching her so much is a great way to bring intimacy back into your encounter, so make sure to hold her in your arms and touch her gently.
Emotional care is just as important as physical care. Even though you weren’t intending for your words to hurt, being put in certain situations can be a little jarring. She wanted to be put in that situation and you both took great pleasure out of the encounter, but still, hearing some of the things that were said and dealing with some of the actions that were taken can be an emotionally abrasive experience. Tell her how much you care about her and how great you think she is to make sure that her self-confidence is built back up and that there weren’t any negative effects on her emotions. If she seems a little shaken, don’t worry. That’s natural, so just make sure you’re building her back up afterwards.
Conversation is necessary in any relationship but proves even more crucial in a relationship where bondage play is involved. If you do not communicate then there will be misunderstandings, which can lead to awkward and uncomfortable situations. That’s the last thing you want for you and your sub, so make sure that you’re discussing each encounter after it happens. While every detail is still bright and glaring in your mind, talk it over with her. What things did you like? What about her? Talking about it will help you plan your next encounter more effectively, and will provide a sort of open forum to discuss any concerns she might have. Making sure your sub is comfortable and safe should always be a top priority.